Well, just in case you can't tell by the title of this post. We had our 3rd BETA today and got the results late this afternoon. They were negative this time. No hcg. Although we were all hopeful, we knew that this was most likely the outcome. At this point, I will stop all meds, wait for AF (which should be in the next couple of weeks) and then start over. I talked to C after work and it was really good to hear her voice. I know that she is disappointed, but we are all optimistic for the next try. We are all glad that there is another little embryo waiting for a home and the fact that this one didn't work out actually increases the odds a bit that the next one will. We are all still sad that this one didn't work, but understand that it's part of the process and truly out of our hands. We did everything we possibly could. Dr. M is going to set up a time to meet with them this week or next to "close out the cycle" and go over everything and I assume that will include an estimated time line for the next cycle. I'm thinking we are looking at June, probably between the 3rd and 17th depending on how my lining reacts this time. I'm kind of hoping they go ahead and have me do the patches and stay on the one Estrace vaginally to start with since we know that's what worked the last time.
I will say that I was much happier with our NC this time. She told me after the last results that she put a note up to remind her about the results for today. I sent her an email this morning at a little after 9am, letting her know I had my blood drawn at 7:50am. She emailed me back at a little before 10am, saying that she would watch for the report. At 2:47pm, I got an email from her that said, "Checking -- still no result yet". I thanked her for the follow up and got another email just before 3pm that said she was faxing the clinic here to request the results. Got the final email at a little after 4pm with the results.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Surrogate GTG - Just what I needed.
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| The Preggo Group. 10 (maybe 11) babies on the way. 3 of them are carrying twins. The Surro on the far right MIGHT have twins too, just waiting on her first ultrasound. ; ) |
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Why we do what we do
I don't remember exactly when I watched this the first time, but it was probably a couple of years ago and I have seen it a couple more times between now and then. One of my surro sisters posted it today and it makes me cry every time, tonight not being any different. This is one of the reasons I became a surrogate. I know that surrogacy is not typically planned in advance by most. Most of us dream of our lives going a certain way. We dream of meeting the one we want to marry, getting married, having babies and being a family. Since becoming a surrogate, I now see even more how lucky and truly blessed I am for my life to have followed this path and feel so blessed to share this gift with others to build their family. Although, I know that most IM's would give anything to carry themselves, the joy of surrogacy still gives them the complete family they've dreamed of and I can't imagine not being on this path and this journey with C & W.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
2nd BETA Results
Finally got an email a little before 8am and again, not great news. The levels were exactly the same. Still a 5. This is the oddest thing ever. I would think it should've moved somewhat in either direction. This time, I will be staying on meds and I will go back again on Monday to see what happens. I went and changed my patches out as soon as I got the results. We were all so confident that this transfer would work because everything looked so good. My uterus looked great and the embryo looked great. So hard to just wait. I am trying so hard to stay optimistic and hopeful, but still preparing for the possibility of a chemical pregnancy at this point. Still praying for a rise with the next results. This is completely new for me, so it's definitely something to learn and grow from.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
2nd BETA....still waiting
Today was our 2nd BETA and we STILL don't have results. I'm really frustrated with our clinic and I'm sure C&W are a little bit too. Emailed them at 9am to let our NC know that the blood draw was complete at 7:45am and received an email back at 11:37am letting me know she would contact me as soon as she knew. 3 o'clock came and went. C & I started texting a little before 4pm, because we knew it was getting late. Neither of us had received any communication since this morning. Seriously?! Given the unique situation, they should've totally been on top of this. At around 4:30pm, we had still not received any communication. C decided to call and leave a message and I sent a gentle email reminder. A little after 5 and STILL nothing! Ugh!!! At this point, we were pretty sure she was already gone for the day. You know, if the first BETA had been normal, I wouldn't have minded waiting an extra day for results, but our first was a 5 and this one was crucial to what happens next with the cycle, plus I'm scheduled to change patches in the morning, but if the results are lower, I don't want to waste them. Meds are expensive and even though IP's plan for these expenses, it's not respectful of the clinics to assume that the funds are unlimited and I feel that they're being so nonchalant about it.
A little after 6pm, C & I discussed calling the after hours nurse and shortly after I left a message with the service, the on call nurse called me back. She said that she wasn't able to access the records, but that she would be in at 7:30am and she would leave a note for our NC. Lovely. I texted C to let her know. Nothing else we can do at this point and hopefully we are all able to sleep tonight while we wait. I'm just going to take my patches with me to work tomorrow in hopes of good news. Miracles happen all the time and this could still be one of those times.
A little after 6pm, C & I discussed calling the after hours nurse and shortly after I left a message with the service, the on call nurse called me back. She said that she wasn't able to access the records, but that she would be in at 7:30am and she would leave a note for our NC. Lovely. I texted C to let her know. Nothing else we can do at this point and hopefully we are all able to sleep tonight while we wait. I'm just going to take my patches with me to work tomorrow in hopes of good news. Miracles happen all the time and this could still be one of those times.
Monday, April 15, 2013
BETA Day!!!
Today was our first BETA. We were so excited to see what our number was. The waiting is always the hardest part. I'm so glad I have been super busy at work, so that I didn't have all day to obsess about it.
Got an email from the clinic a little after 3pm that said they had just gotten the results and needed to call C first. C called me as soon as she got off the phone with our NC and sadly, it wasn't what we were hoping to hear. Hcg was only a 5. : ( Typically, they like to see this number closer to 50 (or even more in some cases). There have been cases where numbers are low and still double appropriately, so that is what we are hoping and praying for at this time. Maybe this little embryo was slow to implant or grow. I will go back for a second blood draw on Wed and hopefully, we will see it double. I think we are all just a bit in shock.
Got an email from the clinic a little after 3pm that said they had just gotten the results and needed to call C first. C called me as soon as she got off the phone with our NC and sadly, it wasn't what we were hoping to hear. Hcg was only a 5. : ( Typically, they like to see this number closer to 50 (or even more in some cases). There have been cases where numbers are low and still double appropriately, so that is what we are hoping and praying for at this time. Maybe this little embryo was slow to implant or grow. I will go back for a second blood draw on Wed and hopefully, we will see it double. I think we are all just a bit in shock.
Friday, April 5, 2013
The Big Day!!!
Today was the big day.....TRANSFER!!
I slept really well last night thank goodness, because today was a big day. I ended up waking up before my alarm around 6:30am, which is still an hour after I would normally wake up during the week. I took my meds, watched a little TV and then started getting ready. C had a work call at 9am and W had some work to finish up, so I was just going to eat breakfast downstairs and C would pick me up after her call to head to the clinic. My acupuncture appointment was scheduled at 11:15am. I was pretty excited for that part, as I've always been fascinated by it, but just never had the opportunity to actually do it. After I got ready, I headed downstairs for breakfast and they had a great buffet. They even had some pineapple! Yea! Pineapple is a tradition for a lot of surros since it has an enzyme, Bromelain, that is said to help with implantation. I love pineapple, so it works out just fine for me. I had some other fruit and an omelet too with spinach and mushrooms. It was a really good breakfast.
After breakfast, I headed upstairs to my room to hang out while waiting for C to finish up at work. It was a very relaxing morning. C called a little after 10 and was finished up and heading to pick me up. They only live about 5 minutes from the hotel and about 15 minutes or so from the clinic. We headed to the clinic and absent minded me, realized as we were about to pull into the parking lot, that I had left my new patient paperwork on the desk at the hotel. Luckily when we arrived, they were able to print new forms and they were really quick to fill out. It's great that the acupuncturist is actually connected to the IVF clinic, so I just had to walk across the hall when I was finished. I went back for my appointment and C waited for me in the lobby. The acupuncture was very relaxing. They use all individually wrapped needles and swab the area to put the needles with alcohol prior to inserting them. They are really teeny tiny things and a couple of them, I felt a small sting when she put a couple of them in (which she warned me about), but once they were in, I couldn't even feel them at all. She placed one or two on the top of each of my feet, one on each wrist and arm, one on my head and a couple in each ear. She placed the first set of needles and then left me to relax for about 10 minutes then came back in, made a few adjustments and left for another 15 minutes. She had some very relaxing music/water sounds playing and turned out all the lights. Once I was finished, I went back to the lobby and W had arrived. We all walked over to the IVF clinic and checked in. We didn't have to wait very long at all. I went back for blood work first and then shortly after, they came out to get us to head back for transfer. I had wondered if I had enough water to drink because I asked the nurse as I was walking back for my blood work how much I really needed to drink and she asked how much I had already. I told her and she made it seem like I was way under where I should've been. I did feel like I was starting to get the feeling that I would need to go pee soon, so I really think I was fine. She told me I should've had 32-40oz of water. Wow, that sounds a bit excessive to me. She said it takes an hour for it to get from my mouth to my bladder. I had a glass of water and orange juice with breakfast too.
When we got back to the prep area for transfer, I asked the nurse there too. (Different answer too - Crazy) At this point, I knew I had enough to drink and would be fine. I changed into the gowns and then the nurse came in with C & W to go over paperwork. She was so nice. After we all signed the consent paperwork, I took my Valium, we waited a few more minutes and then headed back to the transfer room. W had a prior commitment that he couldn't miss, so he headed out. C and I got settled in the transfer room and all the nurses were bustling around getting everything ready. The embryologist came in and asked my name, last 4 of my social, my DOB, who I was transferring for, etc. She confirmed that we were transferring one embryo. Yes, that is correct, only 1! The nurse checked my bladder to make sure that it was full enough (and it was). Shortly after that, Dr. M came in and got ready for the transfer. The embryologist came in around the same time, wheeling the embryo in with her in an incubator. C got to go over and see it under the microscope too. I made sure to ask for a picture of the embryo too, so that C would have a copy. Dr. M started the transfer and explained everything as she went. It was amazing to watch the catheter go in and actually see where she was placing the embryo. She said that my uterus looked great and that the embryo looked great too. Now we are PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). BETA for pregnancy confirmation is scheduled for 4/14, which is a Sunday, so I'm thinking they will push it to Monday. Now the dreaded 2WW begins.....
After I changed back into my clothes, I headed back over for my second acupuncture treatment. I actually fell asleep during the 2nd one. It was so relaxing. The Dr. actually left 2 needles in each ear and said to remove them on Monday. I can't even feel them though, so that's great.
After acupuncture, C and I took a picture in front of the beautiful fountain at the clinic and then headed to grab some lunch. We both really like Panera, so that's where we headed. We had great conversation. After lunch, she took me back to the hotel, so that I could rest and we planned on an early dinner. When I got back, I threw on my sweatpants and watched a little TV. After a few minutes, I decided to go ahead and take a nap. I slept for a good 3 hours. When I woke up, I called C to see if they were still up for dinner. They planned to pick me up at 6:45 and head to dinner. I also had an email from the clinic with my blood work results. She said everything looked good. My Estrogen was at 994 and Progesterone was 9.8.
We went to a little restaurant pretty close to the hotel and the food was great. I had a pecan crusted baked chicken with a risotto and sauteed spinach. I grabbed a piece of key lime pie to eat later because I was stuffed and there was no way I could eat another bite while we were there. Dinner was great and I had such a wonderful time visiting with both of them. The conversation comes so easily with them and it makes the whole journey that much better. I'm so glad that we got to spend some more time together during this visit. Stay tuned.
I slept really well last night thank goodness, because today was a big day. I ended up waking up before my alarm around 6:30am, which is still an hour after I would normally wake up during the week. I took my meds, watched a little TV and then started getting ready. C had a work call at 9am and W had some work to finish up, so I was just going to eat breakfast downstairs and C would pick me up after her call to head to the clinic. My acupuncture appointment was scheduled at 11:15am. I was pretty excited for that part, as I've always been fascinated by it, but just never had the opportunity to actually do it. After I got ready, I headed downstairs for breakfast and they had a great buffet. They even had some pineapple! Yea! Pineapple is a tradition for a lot of surros since it has an enzyme, Bromelain, that is said to help with implantation. I love pineapple, so it works out just fine for me. I had some other fruit and an omelet too with spinach and mushrooms. It was a really good breakfast.
After breakfast, I headed upstairs to my room to hang out while waiting for C to finish up at work. It was a very relaxing morning. C called a little after 10 and was finished up and heading to pick me up. They only live about 5 minutes from the hotel and about 15 minutes or so from the clinic. We headed to the clinic and absent minded me, realized as we were about to pull into the parking lot, that I had left my new patient paperwork on the desk at the hotel. Luckily when we arrived, they were able to print new forms and they were really quick to fill out. It's great that the acupuncturist is actually connected to the IVF clinic, so I just had to walk across the hall when I was finished. I went back for my appointment and C waited for me in the lobby. The acupuncture was very relaxing. They use all individually wrapped needles and swab the area to put the needles with alcohol prior to inserting them. They are really teeny tiny things and a couple of them, I felt a small sting when she put a couple of them in (which she warned me about), but once they were in, I couldn't even feel them at all. She placed one or two on the top of each of my feet, one on each wrist and arm, one on my head and a couple in each ear. She placed the first set of needles and then left me to relax for about 10 minutes then came back in, made a few adjustments and left for another 15 minutes. She had some very relaxing music/water sounds playing and turned out all the lights. Once I was finished, I went back to the lobby and W had arrived. We all walked over to the IVF clinic and checked in. We didn't have to wait very long at all. I went back for blood work first and then shortly after, they came out to get us to head back for transfer. I had wondered if I had enough water to drink because I asked the nurse as I was walking back for my blood work how much I really needed to drink and she asked how much I had already. I told her and she made it seem like I was way under where I should've been. I did feel like I was starting to get the feeling that I would need to go pee soon, so I really think I was fine. She told me I should've had 32-40oz of water. Wow, that sounds a bit excessive to me. She said it takes an hour for it to get from my mouth to my bladder. I had a glass of water and orange juice with breakfast too.
When we got back to the prep area for transfer, I asked the nurse there too. (Different answer too - Crazy) At this point, I knew I had enough to drink and would be fine. I changed into the gowns and then the nurse came in with C & W to go over paperwork. She was so nice. After we all signed the consent paperwork, I took my Valium, we waited a few more minutes and then headed back to the transfer room. W had a prior commitment that he couldn't miss, so he headed out. C and I got settled in the transfer room and all the nurses were bustling around getting everything ready. The embryologist came in and asked my name, last 4 of my social, my DOB, who I was transferring for, etc. She confirmed that we were transferring one embryo. Yes, that is correct, only 1! The nurse checked my bladder to make sure that it was full enough (and it was). Shortly after that, Dr. M came in and got ready for the transfer. The embryologist came in around the same time, wheeling the embryo in with her in an incubator. C got to go over and see it under the microscope too. I made sure to ask for a picture of the embryo too, so that C would have a copy. Dr. M started the transfer and explained everything as she went. It was amazing to watch the catheter go in and actually see where she was placing the embryo. She said that my uterus looked great and that the embryo looked great too. Now we are PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). BETA for pregnancy confirmation is scheduled for 4/14, which is a Sunday, so I'm thinking they will push it to Monday. Now the dreaded 2WW begins.....
After I changed back into my clothes, I headed back over for my second acupuncture treatment. I actually fell asleep during the 2nd one. It was so relaxing. The Dr. actually left 2 needles in each ear and said to remove them on Monday. I can't even feel them though, so that's great.
After acupuncture, C and I took a picture in front of the beautiful fountain at the clinic and then headed to grab some lunch. We both really like Panera, so that's where we headed. We had great conversation. After lunch, she took me back to the hotel, so that I could rest and we planned on an early dinner. When I got back, I threw on my sweatpants and watched a little TV. After a few minutes, I decided to go ahead and take a nap. I slept for a good 3 hours. When I woke up, I called C to see if they were still up for dinner. They planned to pick me up at 6:45 and head to dinner. I also had an email from the clinic with my blood work results. She said everything looked good. My Estrogen was at 994 and Progesterone was 9.8.
We went to a little restaurant pretty close to the hotel and the food was great. I had a pecan crusted baked chicken with a risotto and sauteed spinach. I grabbed a piece of key lime pie to eat later because I was stuffed and there was no way I could eat another bite while we were there. Dinner was great and I had such a wonderful time visiting with both of them. The conversation comes so easily with them and it makes the whole journey that much better. I'm so glad that we got to spend some more time together during this visit. Stay tuned.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
The day is almost here.
Oh wow, I'm so tired. It's been a very busy and long day. I wish I had taken the day off, but it all worked out just fine. Worked today (luckily I left on time at 4:30pm) and then headed straight to the airport. My flight was scheduled for 7pm, so I was there in plenty of time. When I arrived, I noticed there was a 6:30pm flight as well, so went to the desk to see about getting on stand-by for that flight. I parked my butt in a chair and waited for them to start boarding. After a little while, I was glad that I had gotten on the standby list, as the 6:30pm was showing delayed to 6:40 and the 7pm flight I had a seat on was delayed to 7:10pm. They had called 3 other stand-by names prior to mine, so I really wondered if I was going to make it. Finally, they called my name and I got in line to board.
Then came the fun part. I was walking down the ramp to board and I see people checking their bags. I knew why when I saw them doing it. The flight was completely booked and all the overhead storage was already full. Ugh!! All I kept thinking was, "I can't check my bag", "shit, I'm not checking this". I get up to the flight attendant and he asked me my final destination. I told him Houston, but that I couldn't check my bag. I explained that, "I have a lot of medication in my bag" and that I couldn't check it. Not only that, I had my camera in there too and I really didn't want to hassle with taking all that out and then checking it. I asked if I could go back and keep my seat on the 7pm flight I was on originally and he explained that I would have to go up and check with the desk. I head on back up the ramp and go up to the desk. The desk agent said that he had just closed the flight, but he was going to see what he could do. As he tells me that I need to go to the gate agent and let her know to remove me from the flight, she is coming up the ramp and tells me to come back down. They found some space for my bag. Yea!!! I was so thankful.
When I arrived in Houston, C & W were there to pick me up. The actual pick up area at Hobby can be crazy, so they told me to just go out through ticketing and they would pick me up there. I think that ended up being so much faster too. We had planned on going to dinner before having them take me to the hotel, so that's where we headed. We went to a wonderful Italian place with great ambiance. It was pretty packed too and the food was great! There seemed to be several celebrations and one of the coolest things was how they celebrated birthdays. With cotton candy! It was so neat. They brought out a glass container that looked like a vase full of cotton candy and a sparkler in the middle. I wish I would have taken a picture. C said that we should tell them it's our birthday just so we could get one because we both love cotton candy. I had a great time visiting with them. After dinner, they took me to the hotel and I got all settled. Before going to bed, I did take some time to paint my nails. Green for luck and to match my shirt.
Then came the fun part. I was walking down the ramp to board and I see people checking their bags. I knew why when I saw them doing it. The flight was completely booked and all the overhead storage was already full. Ugh!! All I kept thinking was, "I can't check my bag", "shit, I'm not checking this". I get up to the flight attendant and he asked me my final destination. I told him Houston, but that I couldn't check my bag. I explained that, "I have a lot of medication in my bag" and that I couldn't check it. Not only that, I had my camera in there too and I really didn't want to hassle with taking all that out and then checking it. I asked if I could go back and keep my seat on the 7pm flight I was on originally and he explained that I would have to go up and check with the desk. I head on back up the ramp and go up to the desk. The desk agent said that he had just closed the flight, but he was going to see what he could do. As he tells me that I need to go to the gate agent and let her know to remove me from the flight, she is coming up the ramp and tells me to come back down. They found some space for my bag. Yea!!! I was so thankful.
When I arrived in Houston, C & W were there to pick me up. The actual pick up area at Hobby can be crazy, so they told me to just go out through ticketing and they would pick me up there. I think that ended up being so much faster too. We had planned on going to dinner before having them take me to the hotel, so that's where we headed. We went to a wonderful Italian place with great ambiance. It was pretty packed too and the food was great! There seemed to be several celebrations and one of the coolest things was how they celebrated birthdays. With cotton candy! It was so neat. They brought out a glass container that looked like a vase full of cotton candy and a sparkler in the middle. I wish I would have taken a picture. C said that we should tell them it's our birthday just so we could get one because we both love cotton candy. I had a great time visiting with them. After dinner, they took me to the hotel and I got all settled. Before going to bed, I did take some time to paint my nails. Green for luck and to match my shirt.
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